There’s so much more about this smile. You just don’t know. This is the web portal of a fifteen-year-old feline who grew whiskers and paws. As much as she loves dwelling in her solemn, gloomy little own world – she is also thought to be a nonsensical and ill-mannered child who eats anything but food.
Yo. It’s Rachee.
Rachelle Angeli B. Marañon for short. HAHA. I love purple. I accept friends and comments. I laugh, I love, I shop, I cry. I do everything I want; I’m still young, wild and free. I know my boundaries, mistakes and flaws. I spill secrets. I’m bubbly. I’m not aiming for the perfect me but the better me. I do what’s right or maybe wrong, but I still make of it. I laugh at myself if I did something silly. I can control my temper and everything that should be controlled. Everyone knows that life is crazy but wonderful. It can be unfair, but not at all times. I can be your worst enemy or best friend. I am weird, but not that simple. I have realized something that I should have been realizing earlier, still seeking for true friends and for my knight in shining armour. Patiently waiting and I wish they’ll come sooner or later. I don’t believe at love at first sight, nor at times even at true love. Everyone has an individual ability to make a person happy, and I can make you happy, but sometimes I can make you cry. Some people hate me but I don’t mind them because they’re insecure. I take many pictures. I had swollen my pride; my past memories are still treasured. You are welcome in my heart and I swore I won’t forget you. Keep that curve on your face; keep smiling!
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you, your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.
Nothing is certain anymore. I don’t know what in the world is the right thing to do, and so I’m stuck here in a place I don’t want to be. I don’t want to sit back and watch you be fine without me. I don’t want to cry and carry on like I have been doing for the past week. I just want not to want you anymore. I want to, hell I need to, just move on.
We picked ourselves up and walked far away. We distanced ourselves from all the things and people tried to tear us down. We fought and struggled to get a glimpse of the life we have now. We've felt lower than low, but never gave up. With tears in our eyes, and our voice shaking from fear, we stood up tall, walked away and never looked back.
When an emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound. Let the process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass and, when it passes, you will be stronger, happier, more sensitive and aware.
Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.
You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart because, when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong, instead.
Just know that you aren't the only one. Truth is, I’ve been afraid since day one. Sometimes, I end up thinking the worst happening to us. But all of that goes away when I’m with you. I don’t think about anything else because when I’m with you, I am completely with you. My mind. My body. My heart. You become the center of attention. My world. My everything. And it’s in that moment when I’m with you, not thinking about anything but us, that I feel like we’ll get through anything. As long as we’re together. Your presence replaces my feelings of doubt with those of certainty. With you is where I want to be, because that’s where I feel safe. And I want you to feel safe too. Right here. With me. In my arms.
Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other. When we don’t judge or categorize someone else. When we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Having patience with someone who has let us down. Resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other. Because none of us need one more person bashing or pointing out where we have failed or fallen short. Most of us are already well aware of the areas in which we are weak. What each of us does need is a friend. Brothers and sisters, who will support us. Who can have the patience to teach us and believe in us. Who believe we’re trying to do the best we can, in spite of our weaknesses. What ever happened to giving each other the benefit of the doubt? What ever happened to hoping that another person would succeed or achieve? What ever happened to rooting for each other?
Around us, life bursts with miracles—a glass of water, a ray of sunshine, a leaf, a caterpillar, a flower, laughter, raindrops. If you live in awareness, it is easy to see miracles everywhere. Each human being is a multiplicity of miracles. Eyes that see thousands of colors, shapes, and forms; ears that hear a bee flying or a thunderclap; a brain that ponders a speck of dust as easily as the entire cosmos; a heart that beats in rhythm with the heartbeat of all beings. When we are tired and feel discouraged by life’s daily struggles, we may not notice these miracles, but they are always there.
Keep looking forward, because looking back will just kill you more, and the past is behind you, so turn to the next page in the book. I know you miss what happened in the past. You miss the first time you hugged him, the first time he held your hand, the first time he kissed you, and the first time you thought you found someone perfect. I know it hurts to actually think you're wrong about being cared for by that one guy you want to love for forever, believe me, I've felt it before. I've learned that you need to protect yourself from what
For what it’s worth, it’s never too late, or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit; stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or worst of it. I hope you make the best of it, and I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you've never felt before. I hope you meet new people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.
They say that the hardest goodbye is the one unexplained. A sudden stop without any argument. People no longer have the audacity to stay “faithfully” in a relationship or even have the guts to finally commit. These are the ones you call “almost-had-you-relationship”, for me this is the hardest. You’re not officially a couple but you do what normal couples do, or you wish. It’s standing on a cliff, and maybe your in the position who wants to take that jump but you’re not really sure whether the other person will take the jump with you. The uncertainties of him/her waking up one morning and realizing that “this” is not what he or she wants anymore.
No assurance, you’re always second-guessing and at the end of it all, one leaves without a care in the world while the other one with a shattered heart. It’s the awkwardness when people ask you what’s your relationship and you know within yourself you don’t literally know.
And there is this part when you start singing that song from Tamia.
"Tell me how can one miss what she/he never had.
"Some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but not meant to be together"
You’re becoming the person you never thought you could be. You’re changing either for bad or good. You start to do things you never imagined you could possibly do. You become the kind of person you promised yourself not to be. It’s amazing how in a short period of time, you’ll just realize how much you've changed. How much love changed you or is it, how much you changed for love? We could not possibly know which is which. Because from the moment you have fallen in love, everything that surrounds you would be blurred and invisible. You can see yourself revolves in your partner. And when it ends, that’s the time that you will know how much you've changed. And you will wonder if, you changed for love or love changed you.
NOTE: To view the other entries, go to OTHERS then to the ARCHIVES part. Choose between, “Latest” which contains the recent entries or the “Months” for by month posts.