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about the webmistress

There’s so much more about this smile. You just don’t know. This is the web portal of a fifteen-year-old feline who grew whiskers and paws. As much as she loves dwelling in her solemn, gloomy little own world – she is also thought to be a nonsensical and ill-mannered child who eats anything but food.

Yo. It’s Rachee.

Rachelle Angeli B. Marañon for short. HAHA. I love purple. I accept friends and comments. I laugh, I love, I shop, I cry. I do everything I want; I’m still young, wild and free. I know my boundaries, mistakes and flaws. I spill secrets. I’m bubbly. I’m not aiming for the perfect me but the better me. I do what’s right or maybe wrong, but I still make of it. I laugh at myself if I did something silly. I can control my temper and everything that should be controlled. Everyone knows that life is crazy but wonderful. It can be unfair, but not at all times. I can be your worst enemy or best friend. I am weird, but not that simple. I have realized something that I should have been realizing earlier, still seeking for true friends and for my knight in shining armour. Patiently waiting and I wish they’ll come sooner or later. I don’t believe at love at first sight, nor at times even at true love. Everyone has an individual ability to make a person happy, and I can make you happy, but sometimes I can make you cry. Some people hate me but I don’t mind them because they’re insecure. I take many pictures. I had swollen my pride; my past memories are still treasured. You are welcome in my heart and I swore I won’t forget you. Keep that curve on your face; keep smiling!

Xoxo,
Gossip Girl

♥ Rachee

cyber diary

4/16/2012

Monday, April 16, 2012

4/16/2012

Predictably Happiness

I’m a big fan of predictably happy. A few years ago, this would have never been the case. I have to admit: it’s a relief to see that my preferences have changed along with me.

Predictably happy guys smile. That’s their thing. They set you at ease because they don’t make you feel the need to set up any sort of pretense. They’re not hung up on unnecessary drama. They have absolutely no intention of exploiting any sort of agenda. Ultimately, they’re just naturally good-natured.

And that is something I find strangely attractive.

I’m an anomaly in a world that falls over the tall brooding enigma. I think I’m old enough to know that I don’t want to be with someone because of their magnetic emotional complexities.

I want to be with someone because of their warmth. I want to be drawn in by an easiness, a simplicity; by a persona that actually wants to be figured out. Someone who will eagerly engage in conversation – and, more importantly, in life! – with me. I want banter and verbal chemistry and the chance to be wooed by a smile that can embrace me in something that feels a lot like home.

And I want that for always.

Not just when it’s convenient. Not just when their day is good. Not just because there’s a camera pointed at their face. I want the promise of a smile for always. There’s nothing more pleasant than facing the absurdities of life with someone whose got the disposition of a sunbeam. Not unreasonable unnatural happiness but a chronic real and lasting kind that probably only exists in a person who is confident in who they are.

“What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.” (Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay)

The last and most important slice of the pie that is my heart: if you take me back to what true goodness is then I’m pretty sure that I will just about fall in love with you for good.

It’s not about holding doors open or buying nice gifts; not about being active in your local church or the ability to throw a compliment my way whenever my bruised ego needs a fix. Those things are wonderful but they’re also the external trappings of fleeting romance.

I want heart and soul – your capacity to extend grace, forgiveness, compassion and, the most endearing quality of all: kindness. A man’s ability to spend and invest his love on everyone, to go above and beyond without prejudice, without any sort of selfish ambition, is probably the only thing I’d actually pray for with intention because of the rarity of its nature. Heart, I believe, is the only real standard. The only thing in the world that truly lasts.

It is this indestructible quality of good character that will undoubtedly tip the odds of me liking you in your favor – chances are, for a very long time. Though my type may have evolved dramatically over the years, this one right here is the one that I think will actually stay and persist. I know it sounds crazy, and I don’t know if such a man actually exists, but I’d like to believe that if I can dream him up in my head then his real-life counterpart may not be too far off.

The odds and I have never had a very good relationship but I believe whole-heartedly that the tides can change, that fate favors people who dream audaciously, and that the best is real. But more importantly, that the best – even at this moment – is already on its way.

Labels: be positive, life, smile

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