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about the webmistress

There’s so much more about this smile. You just don’t know. This is the web portal of a fifteen-year-old feline who grew whiskers and paws. As much as she loves dwelling in her solemn, gloomy little own world – she is also thought to be a nonsensical and ill-mannered child who eats anything but food.

Yo. It’s Rachee.

Rachelle Angeli B. Marañon for short. HAHA. I love purple. I accept friends and comments. I laugh, I love, I shop, I cry. I do everything I want; I’m still young, wild and free. I know my boundaries, mistakes and flaws. I spill secrets. I’m bubbly. I’m not aiming for the perfect me but the better me. I do what’s right or maybe wrong, but I still make of it. I laugh at myself if I did something silly. I can control my temper and everything that should be controlled. Everyone knows that life is crazy but wonderful. It can be unfair, but not at all times. I can be your worst enemy or best friend. I am weird, but not that simple. I have realized something that I should have been realizing earlier, still seeking for true friends and for my knight in shining armour. Patiently waiting and I wish they’ll come sooner or later. I don’t believe at love at first sight, nor at times even at true love. Everyone has an individual ability to make a person happy, and I can make you happy, but sometimes I can make you cry. Some people hate me but I don’t mind them because they’re insecure. I take many pictures. I had swollen my pride; my past memories are still treasured. You are welcome in my heart and I swore I won’t forget you. Keep that curve on your face; keep smiling!

Xoxo,
Gossip Girl

♥ Rachee

cyber diary

8/18/2012

Saturday, August 18, 2012

8/18/2012

Dear You and You and You and You and You….

I hate it when you tell me that you don’t think you’re beautiful.

“But I’ve gained a lot of weight.” “And there’s a constellation on my face.” “The eye bags make me look old.” “I don’t know how but I think I’ve let myself go.”

Stop for a minute.

Turn to that critical voice in your head and tell it stick its harsh opinions where the sun don’t shine. Because those labels become chains that keep you trapped in the dark. And, deep down, you know better. Deep down, there’s a window in your soul that seeks to believe that you were meant for more. That you were meant for wide open spaces where the light always lingers . Keep that window open for one minute longer.

Because that feeling at the pit of your stomach that you can’t seem to shake off, that killer instinct, that flickering hope — they’re all true.

How different would your life be if you actually believed the voice that you’ve been trying to resist all along? The one that says: “You are a miracle. Proceed accordingly.” Whether you choose to silence it, fear it, run from it or ignore it, you can’t stop me from standing on this metaphorical mountain, screaming the truth from every conceivable peak:

YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE.

Take those eyes, for example. Those eyes that you say are too squinty, too big, too small, too far apart; too black, too dull, too droopy, too weak, too odd.

However they look, they’ve watched a thousand sunrises. They’ve seen couples kiss at weddings. Those eyes have beheld incredible goodness, witnessed the amazing triumphs of the human spirit, caught glimpses of beauty at its most unencumbered. Those eyes have cried every time it felt the jagged edges of the world pierce your heart. Have cried over death and loss and betrayal but also, joy, surprise and gratitude. Those eyes have marveled. Have seen everyday wonders like the sunshine peeking through after days of dark rain clouds. Those eyes have seen colors that no palette could ever physically translate and those eyes will see things in this lifetime that might even put the word ‘miracle’ to shame.

Or your body. The body you constantly lambast for being ugly. Ugly because it doesn’t match the standard the world’s held up against you. Ugly because it curves in the wrong places, is too wide, too narrow, too short, too tall — when are you going to realize that you can’t have it all? You can’t and you don’t need to. Because that body was never meant to fit into someone’s small, simplistic notions. That body was made to tell stories. Was made for movements and revolutions, made with the capacity to say so much without saying anything at all. Your body is your vehicle for adventure, your translator for when love desperately needs to be felt. And however it’s packaged, whatever quirks it comes with, it is fully equipped to do what it was always made to do: to tell the story of you as beautifully as possible. If you let it.

And that face. I love that face because it is the permanent residence of your beautiful smile. Your smile that tells me the world’s going to be okay when everything around has fallen to pieces. Tells me as I stand on the opposite side of the room: Hey, you belong. Tells me we agree, we get each other, we understand, we forgive, we’re okay. Tells me I am loved even when I don’t exactly feel like it.

I love that face because it is the home of a billion expressions, each one contributing to your specific you-ness. The way you scrunch your eye brows or stick out your tongue or cross your eyes when you want to catch my attention. The way you flare your nostrils in disbelief or crease your mouth into flat lines when you’re upset. The way your eyes take on a hollow look when you don’t want to be where you are anymore. That face of yours is my manual for everything that you feel. It’s written in code but I know it so well because I have never studied harder for anything else in my life.

And we could go through your entire anatomy but still arrive at the same conclusion by the end of it. Now is the time to keep those windows wide open, to see yourself in a light that’s never harsh, to use love as a mirror wherever you go.

Because I hate it when you tell me that you don’t think you’re beautiful.

So I will make it my duty to stand on metaphorical mountains and paint the walls with truth. To keep reminding you that you are, you are until we finally start seeing the same person in the same uncanny light.

NOTE: To view the other entries, go to OTHERS then to the ARCHIVES part. Choose between, “Latest” which contains the recent entries or the “Months” for by month posts.